Updated: May 2
I get so cross with myself, sometimes.
I feel like I have let myself down - again.
If I’m honest I treat myself worse than I would treat anybody else! I show more compassion and understanding to other people.
Why do we do this?
I am hardest on myself when I don’t live up to the exacting standards I expect of myself - when I eat a whole pack of custard creams after reading all about nutrition and health or when I write a DOCC Blog about the importance of routine only to realise I haven’t vacuumed for over 2 weeks.
If somebody came to me and told me they hadn’t vacuumed for over 2 weeks would I berate them for their slovenly ways and laziness? No, absolutely not! I would get them to sit down, make them a coffee and talk to them! Ask them why they think their routine isn't working, when they were trying so hard. I would be compassionate and care about them.
So why not to me?
This week I have treated myself to an art course! 5 days of lessons which are available to me when I want to do them so that I can spend time doing something just for me!! I have learned over the years that when I don't have something which is just for me, whether it's a new book or sewing pattern or a course I am looking forward to, I will lose sight of myself in amongst all the daily appointments and responsibilities. And when that happens I get down and depressed and begin to fall behind on small things which can lead to forgetting to do big things and before I know it I am surrounded by clutter and mess and starting to berate myself again.
I can hear you:
“ Ok Linda, I came here looking for help decluttering and organising - how is getting art lessons going to help me?!”
Well - if you aren’t looking after yourself and your mental health and physical wellbeing I firmly believe you won’t be able to keep up with the changes necessary to keep up with a newly decluttered space and the new habits you need to develop for it’s upkeep.
You need to know that you are working on your space for yourself. You may begin by being shamed into it, or because you’ve seen someone else's home and want to be just like them and these are two of the many reasons which have ended up with successful decluttering and organising projects BUT they are only successful in the long term when a mind shift is made.
When there has been a shift from doing it for external reasons - shame, being like someone else, to internal reasons - wanting to regain time in your days to spend with loved ones, needing to be more organised to function better in the world and to show up when you want to without the stress of always being late or lost.
And I know all about this:
Not until I linked the decluttering of my own behaviours with the cluttered surroundings of my home did I begin to see success.
So, you see? Until you begin to focus on yourself, care about yourself and understand why you really want to live in a less cluttered, more organised space your successes will be fleeting because they are done without a true foundation.
Work on yourself, introduce some self care into your day - for as little as 5 minutes - but begin to discover why you want to change your habits before you try to copy someone else's.
Do you want to spend more time reading, out walking around your local area or playing with your children? Or do you want to stop missing out on important appointments, meetings and events because you are disorganised?
Begin by loving yourself!
Then love your home and everything in it!
I am so much better now that I used to be - I know that I need to have time in my own space, time to enjoy doing something for me. I am not perfect! There are seasons in life when things change, committments alter and time can run away from me. But I know to recognise when this is happening - I generally see it in a cluttered dining room before I see it in myself! And I can take the time to assess what I need to do to make sure I can have some time to focus on my mental wellbeing. As I write this DOCC Blog I am looking forward to spending time on my new art course. I am also slowly introducing a more nutritional way of eating into my weekly menu - slowly but surely taking care of myself so that I have the time and energy to perform my daily routines and habits.
I would be interested to hear how you take time to look after your own mental wellbeing so that you to have the energy to perform your daily routines and habits?
You can comment below ↓↓ or look at the end of the blog for all the ways you can contact me privately. I love hearing from you with all your ideas and photos of the areas you are working on!!
If you want to delve deeper into finding a ‘system’ which will work for you, you can contact me via my email email@example.com or using the chat bubble on my website, I would love to help you!
Why not take a look at the Declutter Journal? It is in my Amazon Shop !
You can message me on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Linda-J-Harper-Professional-Declutterer-and-Organiser-107805011001601.
I am also on Pinterest and Instagram if you need some inspiration! https://www.pinterest.co.uk/adnilenaj1314/boards/